Aromantic but want a relationship.
103K subscribers in the aromantic community.
Aromantic but want a relationship.
A community for aromantics to discuss being aromantic.
Aromantic but want a relationship I steadily get more depressed as the relationship goes on, despite loving the person I’m with. to me, you seem to be cupioromantic, but that’s up to you to decide. If you're not happy, find someone who holds the same ideals as you. I don't know what to do because I don't want to hurt her but I don't feel that interested in having a relationship with anyone. But I wish I did want a romantic relationship, those are the bonds people care about at the end of the day- romantic partners and (usually) intermediate family members. It was then that he said something about "I know you're not my girlfriend but I consider you my partner". It was pretty easy for me to figure it out once I realized there was a name for it and a whole community (thats been wonderful!). I don't really like romance in fiction/media either, it can seem excessive to me. So, I end up hurting because I'm (currently) actively avoiding my crush, though I don't want to. But these kind of relationship have a lot of important differences A community for aromantics to discuss being aromantic. And right then it made sense, he was (is) my partner! He is not aromantic, but he is fine with me being so. ADMIN MOD don’t want a relationship? Need advice me and my partner have been together for about two weeks officially, but have been talking and interested for months more. Aro people can be in relationships (think about demis, etc) and you can also be in a QPR (queerplatonic relationship). It's horrible. I always worry that my partner isn’t happy because I’m not happy. But if you truly like her and want to stay with her and you are compatible as s couple, you could make it work. I'm trying to understand guys who are not inclined to romantic relationships in general. New Ive always identified as aromantic asexual. i'm greyromantic and i have sooo much trouble identifying my romantic feels and i spend waaay too much time googling how to tell if a relationship is romantic (google seems to think all my close friendships are romantic cuz we cuddle and hold hands, i guess). i do appreciate this person a lot and don’t mind being friends! but i also don’t want to continue in a relationship that i’m not meant to be in, and only leading her on as Probably not what you wanna hear, but it can be literally anything you want. That said, it is possible to have a successful aromantic relationship, especially if both partners are on the same page and are willing to openly communicate Now I am asking myself if I am actually aromantic, because I do want to fall in love and I like the idea of being in a romantic relationship with a person, but I'm afraid I am completely unable to fall in love. That makes me feel a lot better about not being in a romantic relationship; actually it makes me barely feel better about "missing out" in general. I guess it’s because I only think about dating someone when I get to know them and it’s rare for me to want to be in a relationship out of the blue. Additionally, I'd recommend looking into alterous attraction! Maybe from before you knew you were aro, or maybe you're not romance-repulsed and chose a romantic relationship, or any reason an aro might find themselves in a romantic situation! I Describes a person who is on the aromantic spectrum and experiences romantic attraction in some way or who desires/is in a romantic relationship. It’s important to note that aromantic people can still enjoy physical intimacy, cuddling, or other forms of affection without romantic Since there is no norm for aromantic/asexual relationships, you're more free to explore since you'll be skipping those parts entirely! It's more like you get to pick and choose which parts you want to keep, i. Like im having a massive crush thinking i really want a A community for aromantics to discuss being aromantic. Whether you’re curious about the world of aromantic dating, wondering, “Can aromantics fall in love?” or simply want Aromantic is a romantic orientation, which describes a person’s patterns of romantic attraction. We have an open/poly relationship so all the mushy-lovey-dovey "let me take you out on a date stuff" he can do with anyone else. And I'm wondering if any of you might have had similar experiences/feelings. For me that is the possessive / toxic Aromantic people do form strong bonds and have loving relationships that have nothing to do with romance. . I have a rocky relationship with romance in the context of real life. It's just really common. Instead of being in the loop of ethical non-monogamy, they simply didn't tell you and left you to . Plus, you're young, many kids don't want relationships. ” "Partnering" and "amorous" are other terms in the aro community you might find helpful! You don’t desire romantic love. Can you suddenly become aromantic after a certain event? I feel aromantic describes me (23M) well right now, but I remember a time when I really wanted a relationship Questioning About 4 years ago, I distinctly remember a time where I would be up all night wishing I could be in a relationship. and being aromantic is normal and natural, just like every other queer identity. uncomfortable feeling. All I'm going to say is that the fear of missing out, isn't the fear of missing out. I really identified with it, and it seemed to fit this chats description completely, so I thought I'd Ive always wanted to have a romantic relationship with someone, man or woman it doesn’t really matter, to feel love. That said, I don't think I'll find a fuck buddy I'd be comfortable with, you know? Sometimes I wonder if I'm really aro cause tbh I pretty much want an SO, just without the romance BUT that 'romance' part is pretty I don't know if I am really aromantic. Aromantic people may choose to be in a Aromantic Asexual or “aroace” is an identity in which a person experiences little to no romantic or sexual attraction. Talk about polyamory/open relationship before you start dating an aromantic person; 7. Many romantic asexuals still want all that, but just no sex. Even though we have a lot in common, he's very sweet and I enjoy being with him, I don't like him even though I want to. And yes you can be Aromantic if you want a relationship, there’s an entire spectrum (and everyone is valid) (Also it is Little to no romantic attraction in the description of Aro) Lithromantic people may want to avoid dating and romantic relationships entirely, or may be comfortable with such a relationship or even desire it, as long as their love is not returned in a romantic way. Miranda identifies as aromantic and has never been interested in relationships. Hi there, It can be quite difficult to accept your aromantic. the sexual part of the relationship, and which parts you don't want, i. Being aromantic in a romantic relationship can be challenging and confusing, but it can also be just as fulfilling as any other relationship. I But I really want someone to be close to, like I was close to the people I dated. Someone who is aromantic experiences little to no I don't think there is a solid definition, because everyone and every relationship is different but for me I'd say: A romantic relationship is a relationship between 2 people that are emotionally and physically closer to each other than they are and want to be with other not romantically involved people, like family, friends, colleagues, etc. I guess what I’m asking is, can aromantic people be in romantic relationships, or does the fact that I’m in one and enjoying it rule out that possibility? Yes I’m an aromantic ace. It’s just like that for some people, and either way you should do what you want. @natural blue My understanding is that, like Asexuality, an Aromantic doesn't desire a romantic relationship with a specific person. Looking back on all the crushes I have had, they have all been lust-driven. e. Aromantic people often don’t want to form romantic relationships and find that the relationships they do want to form are devalued. These different social experiences are separate And I would say you can still be aromantic if you want to be in a relationship, as long as you would view that relationship as platonic. In a relationship, I’m always wondering if I’m doing “it” right. Also, if you experience crushes, you don't technically fit the definition of aromantic, though you could still be on You don't need to feel romantic attraction to perform romantic gestures for someone. I even fantasize about having a Disney wedding for some reason (although never a normal wedding and substitute the kiss at the end with a hug lol). I don't like romance in general. If I was aromantic, I think I would definitely be one of the ones who still wanted a relationship I'm 33, and I'm gay/gray/demisexual aromantic. Like I could if I wanted to, but I just absolutely don't want to. like i just want a relationship without the romantic and sexual components sjdklfsdfj I have very recently realized that I'm likely aromantic (I used to go with greyromantic) and I still want some sort of close relationship. I ended up hurting a lot of people I cared about even when I laid down my distaste for a relationship. I'm 23 and I only had one girlfriend in my life, and we didn't last so much. it’s a commitment, but a good one. Keep in mind that sometimes platonic relationships go beyond what we think of as friendship. The signs are things like -Feeling uncomfortable upon entering a romantic relationship with a crush A community for aromantics to discuss being aromantic. You can still desire a relationship as an aromantic. When I say I want a romantic relationship, I want all of it: kissing, cuddling, going on dates, being life They can function differently for much the same reason you found it difficult to date. She didn’t want a relationship in the slightest, so I assumed she was aromantic. No you are not a bad person. I would also be okay with this someone being romantically attracted to me as long as they would be okay with me not Yep, you just said it. So my question really is, am I a true aromantic, or is it more just a case of me being an extreme introvert and not wanting to be in a committed relationship because I don't think I would be happy? Archived post. I know I certainly struggled to accept it. i think (and especially upon reconsidering old relationships) that i’m somewhere I don't know if you can be aromantic but want romance in the way you could be asexual and have sex. relationship so I'm nervous and it's selfish but part of the reason I don't break things is because I'm worried like I want a relationship but obviously they are not like in movies/book and what if I can never find This actually made me feel a lot better. That's called simply not wanting a relationship (as mentioned above!) That person can still want a family & go about starting a Some asexual or aromantic people may prefer “queerplatonic relationships,” a term that refers to close relationships that aren’t necessarily romantic or sexual. Long story short, I like this person but 1) I don't know if I want him romantically and 2) I don't want a relationship with him. i don’t really think it’s a willy-nilly thing, or whatever. However for other people they have a different feeling - and I think that is romantic love. Maybe you only have to find the right person for this. okay so. I have crushes and fantasize about being in a relationship (not nessicarily sex) but as soon as I get into a relationship, I regret it. This last season involved an arc where Mick became a successful romance novelist, despite being the only character who has never actually been in a romance. I get the eww-ick at the thought of myself in a romantic relationship - all the social expectation, all the mushy gestures like pet names/terms of endearment, etc. Wanting kids and wanting a romantic relationship are not mutually exclusive, and I'm glad to have come to terms with that. Whether you’re curious about the While there are certainly aromantics who don’t wish to pursue an exclusive, romantic relationship, some people who identify as aromantic still might want such a relationship. Yes, its very possible to be aromantic due to truama, it happened to me. I think you could still call yourself aro, or at least grey-romantic. Coupling is massively privileged and rewarded by society, and being single is stigmatized, to the point where we can say that people are socially coerced into wanting to be into romantic relationships. Describes a person who does not want romance or a romantic relationship, but considers strong platonic love and relationships very important, including exclusive ones like QPRs. So if you have crushes but don't want a romantic relationship with them, maybe it could be something along the lines of being lithromantic. The moment it's no longer convenient, they bail out and leave. If you mean you want relationships entirely void of all romantic Being aromantic does not mean that a person doesn't want to be around other people or has no social needs, nor does it mean that they're uncomfortable around others. ” My point being, the only thing that makes someone aromantic/asexual is not feeling attraction in the same way that allo (non-aro/non-ace) people do. So I have (am in) a relationship with a good friend I also want to sleep with. I personally identify as cupioromantic. Felt sexual attraction to one of them. And Aromantic relationship are often QueerPlatonicRelationship QRP it’s another intersseting term to check It's cool not wanting a relationship. I get how people usually describe a crush. According to The Asexual Visibility and Education Network (AVEN), The thing is, I realized I still want a relationship. ButI want a relationship someday. I know I'm unable to 'fall in love' in a romantic way but I am definitely able to love in a way that's not as intense/passionate but still genuine and I would like a special someone to direct this love to. I’ve dated a lot of people before I figured I was aro and told them I didn’t want anything serious and they said they understood and wouldn’t push- but eventually they wanted something more and I couldn’t give it to them. Be 55 votes, 17 comments. Therefore, not all asexual people are aromantic and vice versa. Personally, I think labels are only good if they make things less confusing. For me part of it was because I bought into the belief you needed to be in a romantic relationship to be happy and feel fulfilled in life (an example of amatonormativity - "the belief that everyone is better off in an exclusive, romantic, long-term coupled relationship"). 103K subscribers in the aromantic community. I heard of some aromantic people having relationships and being happy about it. A: Aromanticism is a romantic orientation, which describes people whose experience of romance is disconnected from normative societal expectations, commonly due to experiencing little to no romantic attraction, but also due to feeling repulsed by romance, or being uninterested in romantic relationships (see our glossary). Hi, I (17f) feel like it's possible I'm aromantic but I'm in a two year long relationship with my girlfriend (17f). The same way asexual people can have sex, aromantic people can be in relationships. This doesn’t mean you don’t experience or Could I be aromantic and still desire some romantic connection? Or am I Demiromantic and just haven't found the right person yet? A/Sexuality: Aromantic (?) Asexual. Many aromantic people work to reject amatonormativity in their own lives and in broader society. are various reasons why one would like specific aspects often attributed to romantic relationships without actually wanting a romantic relationship. What matters most is consent and an intentional dedication from the people Managing relationships can be tricky, but the challenges for aromantics can seem particularly unique. the romantic part of the relationship. But that doesn't mean, if you don't want a relationship, you can't hang out in aro spaces so you're around people where romantic relationships aren't the norm and expected. I guess the possibility of being aro scares me because of what it might mean for our relatively new relationship. It just makes you an alloromantic person who doesn't want a relationship) The aromantic spectrum, abbreviated as arospec[1] or aro-spec[2], refers to romantic orientations that are aromantic or are closely related to aromanticism when placed on a spectrum ranging from aromantic to alloromantic. 5. Ive had two relationships in the past but I wouldnt even ca Anyway, either way you slice it, I feel like it's more of a choice for me not to want to be in a relationship. Aromantic people are capable of being in a romantic or platonic relationship. Reply reply More replies More replies More replies. There's lithromantic too, which is feeling romantic attraction but not wanting it to be reciprocated. You should never force yourself to do something you don't want or that makes you uncomfortable of course. Most aromantic people don’t fall in love. I don’t WANT to be aromantic or a grey, but I realize that being that it’s an orientation it doesn’t matter if you want to be that way or not (sort of like it doesn’t matter if you want to be gay). it’s not a loss of independence, but like almost any kind of relationship, having a partner takes care and effort. Aromantic people may also use the shorthand “aro” to describe their orientation. I want a human that is “mine” someone I can talk to all day and share hobbies with. Thanks for posting to r/aromantic, u/SortDry7269. But, I do maybe want a relationship? I do feel some sort of tertiary attraction Grayromantic: Grayromantics fall into the gray area of the aromantic spectrum between wanting and not wanting romantic relationships and romantic interests. I'm still trying to figure out whether I fall into classic aromantic territory and/or just want to be single regardless. You want romance-free relationships, and people think you are a player, fickle-minded, or maneater/womanizer. You weren't. The thing is, I don't know if this is caused by me being aromantic (I identify as demi-romantic ace) or by my fear of beign trapped in a relationship. Plenty of aromantic people want relationships, but they don't feel romantic attraction. This partner might be romantically attracted to you or not like, some aros marry/date before knowing they are aro but after coming out their previously romantic parents don't mind being in a QPR that's one sided romantic. It almost happened, but my extreme anxiety and Ultimately, the way one person identifies as aromantic might be different for another. 💖 Reply reply This glossary is a continuously updating record of all terms that have been and are being used in the aromantic community. Attraction is an optional factor, not a mandatory one. It's hard to beat that. Even though romantic attraction is defined as wanting a romantic relationship with someone, you don't always have to want to act on it. It is possible to have close relationships. Judging from the fact that the aromantic person is dating, they're likely romance-favorable. It’s difficult to explain, but before we started dating I had felt drawn to them for no specific reason, it wasn’t what typical romantic attraction felt like but it was definitely something that wasn’t There are myriad possible reasons a person can enjoy, want, and-or choose any sort of relationship. Aromantic just means that you don’t feel aromantic attraction to some extent, while that delineates whether you still seek relationships or I think being aromantic has more to do with whether or not you feel romantic attraction than whether or not you want to feel romantic attraction. Like thinking about them, being happy around them, wanting to see them, missing them. Thing is, I kinda wanted a relationship but knew I'd get bored and hurt them, cause I just can't after less than a year. Edit: re-reading your post, if you find someone who understands aromanticism and is okay having a relationship with an aro person, you won't have to fake anything. it all boils down to me wanting a relationship but just cant feel love and its so 99K subscribers in the aromantic community. If you don't want that, you are not normal, and therefore weird and strange to other people. but comparing romance to gender like that justsuddenly makes sense! i'm currently in a relationship that A bit of a rant but yeah, im 16, male aro/grey and probably bisexual but idk it depends. aromantic means you don't feel romantic attraction! if you don't, congrats, you're aro! aro does not mean you have to be ace! you can be allosexual and still be aromantic! you're not an asshole, heartless, or a bad person for experiencing sexual, but not romantic attraction! A community for aromantics to discuss being aromantic. Questioning Someone in the comments of another post said that its possible to be aro and desire to have a romantic relationship, which confused me so I was curious to hear community opinion about it, as well as have a greater understanding of what that even means! Im aromantic, but for a while, Ive really been wishing I could just get a crush and ask someone out and fall in love. Recently i started watching this show domestic girlfriend and even ranted about it here yesterday, the thing is i started to really like this show and previously i didnt understand the appeal of relationship so I didn't really care im aro but this is the first truly solely romance driven show i watched and I'm jealous of aromantic people because they don't get to have these stupid feelings. Additionally, some aromantic people pursue romantic relationships anyway. that it’s not completely honest. ) Now, there are arospec people who do feel romantic attraction, but very very rarely, or only after a deep If you’re a romantic, you know relationships are tough luck. I guess I just wanted to know if other aro people really want qprs, and if I can still be aromantic and want a qpr. an aromantic can date, and can enjoy dating, and can want to date, but typically an aromantic person prefers to think of it as friends hanging out, as dating tends to imply an interest in More accurately, I'm cupioromantic, but I don't personally like microlabels so I'd like to stick with just aromantic. All these past partners are really just close friends who asked me, and I I’m a romantic ambivalent, so my opinion changes depending on various factors. You may identify as grayromantic if you Possible to be aromantic and want a romantic relationship? Discuss. It's certainly made harder with the gender envy - not being sure whether you want to be with a person and spend more time with them or The other thing to consider is that, as OP themselves mentioned, it does not necessarily have to be a conventional relationship that is clearly romantic (or sexual) in nature when one says they still want to be in one. I know Ive never felt romantic or sexual attraction to someone. I didn't want to be in a romantic relationship. Let's also limit the discussion to romance-favorable aromantics. 4 Key Signs That You Might Be Aromantic My favorite aromantic but not officially out character is Mick Rory from Legends of Tomorrow. But there are also love repulsed aros. You also might be on the aromantic spectrum rather than entirely without romantic attraction. You can be with someone because you’re attracted to them in other ways, and you enjoy sharing your life with them - Aromantic people don't feel romantic attraction. I love seeing the relationship between two characters develop and reach a satisfying conclusion. Naturally, this romantic attraction can be enough to be the basis for a romantic relationship. 3) But he is intimately significant to me. A QPR is a companionate relationship with a commitment level similar to that of a You are aromantic but you accept romance unlike me. It’s invalidating and insensitive to comment on this person’s post (who is trying to process how much they actually want a romantic relationship) about how much you want one. If you are questioning if you are aromantic, make sure you comment your experiences on our pinned “Am I aromantic?” post. Aromantic relationships might have sexual intimacy, just no romantic love 9. But yes, I do want a relationship of some sort, even when I’m romance repulsed. I would describe myself as aromantic, but I feel tremendous love for my friends and family. I'm demiro so it might be a bit different, but I think being in either a romantic relationship or a QPR would be nice. You aren’t aromantic but don’t want a romantic relationship, that’s all there is to it. There is the label I’m aromantic but I’ve been in a relationship for nearly a year, and I can agree that I love my partner but just in a different way. So I wouldn't answer no to your question (doesn't matter if a label exists, you gotta draw the line somewhere and not wanting a relationship doesn't make you aro. I have such a low tolerance for bullshit that after less than 2 years i fully transformed into being aromantic. Your type of love clashes and possibly you want to give up Hi everyone. I don't want to have to dance like a monkey in front of a woman to impress her and flirt with her and convince her to have sex with me. I have zero interest in real people, I am uncomfortable with the idea of being in a real romantic relationship. Of course, the decision to use any label or Im aromantic, so I don't feel romantically towards people, but I wish I did. An aromantic asexual is one who doesn't actively feel that kind of romantic attraction but many still want a relationship, such as a QPR, queer platonic relationship. but the thing is, i still want to be in a relationship with someone. Mostly aromantic people who are romance-favorable. I am uncertain if I am aromantic, or if I am just misdefining romance, so I have no idea if I really am able to feel romance. These relationships can be just as meaningful and fulfilling as romantic ones. =[ Like Ill get a squish but as soon as they reciprocate my feelings it goes away entirely. and I really want to be in a romantic relationship, but any time those feelings are reciprocated I get super irritated with the other person (even though they do nothing wrong) and feel repulsed/a sense of dread. Wanting a sexual relationship is not the same as wanting sex/to sleep with someone. He’s a really amazing guy, and like i said, i still have a desire to be in a u/pirateez. Aromantic people can also feel othered because they don’t share what is so often presented as a universal goal. But I'm questioning whether that's fair to any potential future partners. means actually wanting a relationship with said crush For starters, just because you're aromantic doesn't mean you're asexual too. Most of the time I don’t want one at all but sometimes I’m People don't have to be romantically attracted to someone to want to be in a relationship with them. You can totally want a romantic partner as an aromantic. It can be Someone who is aromantic experiences little to no romantic attraction. i’ve never felt any real romantic attraction to anyone, and i doubt i will in the future. and yes im saying worried cuz even tho being aromantic is okay and shit, i dont want that for myself. With the discovery of this orientation, I struggle with knowing I can't love someone in a romantic way but I still want a relationship. The difference between an aromantic in a relationship and anyone else is that they can feel fulfilled, enjoying the idea that they’ve found someone compatible that they can live happily alongside, but they aren’t concerned IMHO, aromantic is side talk for "I date or marry for convenience, but don't want to commit". Some aromantic people do like to cuddle, while others don't even like to hug. There's plenty of aromantic people that DO want a romantic relationship and yearn for those experiences, but feel like they can never have them because noone's going to take their A community for aromantics to discuss being aromantic. If this is the case, you are definitely Bellusromantic is defined as having interest in traditionally romantic things (ie holding hands, cuddling) but not feeling romantic attraction and not wanting a romantic relationship. recently, one of my friends revealed that he likes me. I'm afraid to date cuz no matter how I feel going in, after a week or two, all my feelings are gone. Managing relationships can be tricky, but the challenges for aromantics can seem particularly unique. However that doesn't excuse the breach of trust Not truly understanding how romantic relationships or feelings work while desperately wanting a partner is a hard balance. I want a relationship the most ideally but I don't believe that'll happen for a long time Reply reply random-tree-42 I thought to myself when I got into this relationship that maybe I’m not aromantic and maybe I like someone for once? There’s nothing wrong with the person that asked me, she’s super nice and sweet but I don’t think we should be in a romantic relationship. I want snuggles and all the fluffy stuff that comes with a significant other, but don’t want a relationship. I have always desired a romantic relationship, and even had a partner here and there, but I have never actually experienced any feelings tied with it. I've never had any sort of relationship so I really don't have a frame of reference, but the idea of a queer-platonic-relationship doesn't feel like what I'm looking for. Yes, you're still alloromantic. And I think that’s probably bc I know I don’t want a romantic relationship, I just want a relationship, whether that’s platonic or sexual it doesn’t really matter! Some people conflate romance aversion with being aromantic, but it is possible for an aromantic to have or want a romantic relationship; we just don't experience romantic attraction. Being a fellow aromantic that writes romantic visual novels, I totally get it. Why are things considered romantic (physical closeness I've known that I'm aromantic since my mid teens, and I'm very comfortable with my identity. I saw her as a friend, not a partner. I don't have any queer friends to discuss this so here it goes: Backstory: I have a I don't want to be in a relationship, I'm aromantic and not really interested in that, maybe a casual QPR but I don't really think so. I myself am probably aro, but I'd like a relationship of some sort, romantic or platonic. A community for aromantics to discuss being aromantic. Sounds a little like lithoromantic. if you really are aro, i don’t believe it’ll go away. It can even be optional for allos. Describes a person who does not want romance or a romantic relationship, but considers strong platonic love and relationships very important, including exclusive ones like So you can absolutely experience a non-zero amount of romantic attraction and still identify as aromantic. Meaning an Aromantic could theoretically have a, I guess you'd call it Romance Drive, but not want to be in a romantic relationship for real. I haven't liked anyone other than platonically in years, and I've never dated, but imagining going on a cute picnic or other stuff like that is adorable. But let's stick to romantic relationships. Some lithromantics may even accept reciprocated love, but do not require it to find a relationship fulfilling, as most romantics do. As I understand it, aromantic people cannot feel romantic love at all. We haven't known each other for long (about 8 months) and already have some sort of weird platonic relationship (it's hard to explain), but I know that he won't ever reciprocate the want to have a full qpr (he's allorom This glossary is a continuously updating record of terms that have been and are being used in the aromantic community regarding attraction and relationships. And I do want a lifelong partner, the sex of the person doesn’t matter, I just need a friend with whom I can share my joys and sorrows,interests and secrets and everything personal; but not sexually or romantically, just platonic. I ended up writing a long message about how much I valued her friendship and how I wasn't interested in Whereas an aromantic does not want a romantic relationship. Not exactly but just in case, lithoromanric is an aromantic identity for those who have romantic feelings, but don’t want them reciprocated. They may or may not I am 99% sure im aromantic, I’ve never had a crush, never had the sort of feelings people say when describing romance and yet I’d like to be in a relationship with someone. Some aromantic people form committed partnerships, and even marriages, based on mutual care and respect rather than romance. omg. Cupiosexuals want a sexual relationship, but since not everyone feels comfortable having sex with people they aren't attracted to, some end up in a state of limbo. Luckily my best friend likes to A community for aromantics to discuss being aromantic. I want that emotional intimacy and passion that goes with having a romantic/sexual relationship. I too relate with everything you've said! While there is a hookup culture, I still live in a pretty traditional country and serious relationships are what's normal and expected. when you don't have romantic attractions but you want to be in a relationship, or to experiance the relationship feelings. I'm trying to figure something/myself out. I just have never met anyone I would want any of that with. So it's easier to just want it and go along with And as a cupioromantic/aromantic who is also asexual, I've gone through a lot of the same dilemmas. (Plenty of aro people also don't want romantic relationships, obviously, but that doesn't necessarily mean they hate romance or anything. The answer to the question "can I be aromantic and want a relationship" is yes. You can have a relationship even if you are aromantic or asexual. This being said it didn't stop me from wanting to be in a relationship as I wanted to hold A community for aromantics to discuss being aromantic. I too am Aromantic due to truama and the logical side of not wanting to waste my time or money on dumbassholes anymore. personally, i dealt with my realization hard Of course, my reason for wanting to be aromantic is that I do develop crushes and want a relationship with someone, but I know it's so unlikely that anything would ever work out. ” This phrase is fairly straightforward. When you don’t want to be in a relationship, it may be because you are “happily single. My I want the things associated with romantic relationships, but aren’t attracted to anyone and don’t want a relationship of itself. Am I aromantic even if I want a romantic relationship? For example if the other person is in love with you and you love them platonically you can be in a romantic relationship as long as the other person is fine with it. A QPR is different than a friendship because although it doesn't involve romance and sex it's still a committed So I ve always really wanted a relationship. Everyone's different, and there's no "normal" when it comes to feelings. Trying to force romance on an aromantic person — or any person — is a bad idea Basically I want a relationship for myself and I want a boyfriend. For example, someone who’s cupioromantic may not The “not wanting a relationship” thing is often used to describe aromanticism, but it's not an exclusively aromantic thing nor a definition of being aromantic. But I think it's more likely you want a Queerplatonic Relationship. Love isn't just romantic and if someone has enough platonic love for someone they might want to be in a relationship someone who wants to date should at least be aware and open enough that if suddenly they feel strong romantic feelings, it won't hit them as a shock. But I continued to struggle in romantic relationships That doesn’t change in a relationship, but what the person I’m dating expects from me does. Possible to be aromantic and want a romantic relationship? Discuss. Jenny: I’ve realized that I don’t want romantic relationships, but personally, I do still want a committed relationship, specifically a queer/quasi-platonic relationship or QPR. You can kiss, cuddle, marry, have kids, all the things allos do if you want. Crushes for aromantic people are called squishes, and an aromantic person has a zucchini instead of a boyfriend/girlfriend. Happily Single. Being aromantic also doesn't mean a person doesn't want a relationship. Questioning Someone in the comments of another post said that its possible to be aro and desire to have a romantic relationship, which confused me so I was curious to hear community opinion about it, as well as have a greater understanding of what that even means! I do think that it's possible to want a A community for aromantics to discuss being aromantic. super common Some aromantic people may not want to be in a relationship at all, while others may want a non-romantic partnership or different types of relationships. I don t Or do you feel that there is an imbalance of what you want out of a relationship? Romantic love doesn’t have to be a prerequisite for being in a relationship. I read bit online and came across " aromantic" but don't want to put a label on it. you can still be aro and want a romantic relationship; it’s about the lack of romantic attraction. 11 things you need to know for a successful aromantic relationship. Stands for “romantic aromantic. I sympathise with your partner, being aromantic can be hard to tell people, and often it can come off a bit heartless, I am someone who wants a QPR, I want a relationship with someone else, and sometimes it can feel hopeless because it's hard to find people who are aromantic and looking for a QPR. I want a relationship really badly, I want to connect with a person and have them be mine and only mine, and I want to be theirs and only theirs. I think my feelings are best described as wanting a sensual relationship rather than a romantic one. To further clarify, here are a few examples: He was entirely aromantic and did not want to be in a relationship with her. It sounds like you’ve figured out you don’t want to be in a relationship! I wouldn’t worry much about the label. This is a place for aroaces, aroace spectrum people, aromantic , asexuals, and questioning people. Being an aromantic can have a negative effect on relationships, especially because those on the aromantic spectrum view relationships differently than those who have romantic desires do. I'm happy your friend found what works for her, but that doesn't mean you have to change. But there are a few commonalities you might want to consider, such as having mixed to heavy disinterest in sorry forgot to answer the second question ☠️☠️ i don’t really see it as an unhappy compromise. I just think you should probably be 110% clear about what you want or don’t want in this relationship, and that you are aro, and what that means to you. A user shares their struggle of being aromantic but wanting to feel attraction and love. I want to be someone's everything without the romance (or even really the sexual relationship), just the companionship. If you want to hang out in the aromantic spaces, also cool. I want to cuddle close to them, share cups of hot chocolate, and snuggle together with our pet cat. But I’ve never had crushes. [1][2][3] It is also used by people whose aromantic identities are conditional, unreliable, or atypical to societal expectations, and by people who simply do not Heck, there are even those like myself who actively want to have a romantic relationship despite never being able to look at a particular person and think “that’s a person I would like to date. They’re closer than an I never wanted a relationship, and the one time I tried it was awful, so this is not from experience. I’m aromantic so I can’t reciprocate romantic feelings, but I really like the idea of having someone to live with, do things with, etc. I just now realized that having a crush, means actually wanting a relationship with said crush Now I'm getting to know another guy because I really want a relationship. Many allos focus more on work or friends or they just don't like the idea of commitment. It's up to you continue the relationship or run. Sometimes I feel very lonely to the point where I want to get into a relationship quickly but then I feel like I don't want to be with anyone else and enjoy my own presence. You don't really crave to act romantic with someone. Regardless, I want a romantic relationship. It shouldn’t matter to you what’s normal, just what makes you happy. You said you didn't feel the romance back even when they were directed at you. Other users comment with similar experiences, suggestions, and questions about cupioromantic identity. Someone who I can tell everything and hang out with all the time and not be self-conscious around. Even my folks With my current daily life and attractions, it would make sense that I'm an aromantic asexual. I've recently discovered that I have some sort of a squish on my best friend. Someone who is aromantic experiences little to no Honestly, my best advice is figuring out and sticking with what you want. Know what you’re getting out of your aromantic relationship; 8. I don't have romantic attractions, but I have had romantic relationships as past partners have been alloromantic. Both are valid ways of doing relationships, but you want to make sure everyone is on the same page. But don't be surprised when it goes sour. You just enjoyed that like enjoying being cared by someone. for a while now, i’ve been fairly certain i’m somewhere on the aromantic spectrum. I kind of relate. I see cute couples on the internet and I think "I want that". I'm not capable of romantic relationships and I don't want one, but I'm pretty desperate for companionship. aromanticism is a very wide spectrum. i know that aromantic doesn't mean you don't want a relationship, but can you be aromantic and WANT one? like I don't wanna I wanted to write them in a healthy, understanding relationship (whether that was a QPR or just "together"), but I am not aromantic. For example cupioromantics still want to pursue romantic relationships but they don't feel romantic attraction. Alot of aros are in romantic relationships so it is not impossible. So if I want to be in a nonromantic relationship that still contains traditionally romantic things in it , is it considered inherently romantic by default bc it Cupioromantic people are aromantics who want romantic relationships. Basically you just need a platonic life partner. Aromantic relationships are sometimes described as "queerplatonic". Different actions have different meanings for individuals. If you're happy, stick around. sounds like you want a QPR (queer platonic Relationship). She’s told me on a few dates how she’s wanted to kiss me but it makes me A community for aromantics to discuss being aromantic. " I don’t want to hurt him and I don’t want to change anything between us. These terms are alphabetized for ease of use. If you love them, regardless of how, you can be in a romantic relationship with them if you want that. Establish needs, boundaries, and expectations before you enter an aromantic relationship; 6. I am asexual, however, and I want to properly write an aromantic character, but I don't want to accidentally write anything that may be considered offensive or tone-deaf to aromantics. Someone who is aromantic experiences little to no romantic attraction. I'm aromantic and I cringe at romance, both in 2D and 3D. You can be aroace and still want to be in a romantic relationship, it doesn't make you any less aromantic. jfxkuizqejozqkmiepzzsbouxluydibdcsvveviadytoh